My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
