So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
Randomize
