i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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