Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
