I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
