I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
