FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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