And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
