If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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