Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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