Nicole vs. Life
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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