dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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