New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
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