Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
