Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
