I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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