I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
