Only a mothe r could love this liver
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
