we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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