dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
