That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
