a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Randomize
