How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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