Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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