To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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