Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
