I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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