He told me they were just razor bumps!
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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