naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
