I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
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