You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
