We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Randomize
