put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
