census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
