You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
