after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
