Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
