Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i dont even know how to be here
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize