i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
