Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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