This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
