I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
