Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
