mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Randomize
