call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
