i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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