So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
