I CAN MOONWALK!
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Randomize
