I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I could fuck to npr.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
