Well douche your snatch and let's go!
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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