she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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